First birthday party

Today we threw our first birthday party for our kiddo. You know, you can always start with the best intentions, to keep everything simple, to make sure that - no matter what - the main goal is that it is easy and just to enjoy the day.

Well, Friday afternoon when we realize we're up to our eyeballs in "easy", Keith tells me that Stew and Jenny have offered to help us get ready. These two angels came over and chopped, cooked, poured, mixed, and prepped so much I can't even express how grateful we are! We could not have done this without them.

Stew also came over bright at early this morning to help. Sharon, Clayton, and Amy showed up at the perfect time, when I was just starting to realize how much I had left to get done and was a perfectly insane combination of stressed and excited. And then - SURPRISE! Mom shows up!! It was the best surprise I could have imagined!! My Mom surprising me for my son's first birthday party? Waterworks - you bet.

So, we all managed somehow to haul everything to the park. Mommers and I picked up the gigantic bundle of balloons, held them out the sunroof, and somehow managed to make it to the park with only two of them popping on the hot car.

Keith, Stew, Sharon, Clayton, and Amy got everything to the park and somehow, with very little help from yours truly, the party somehow got set up and ready for visitors.

Really, it was such a fun day. I don't actually have that many pictures, because I was having so much fun hanging out with everyone, doing the sack race, water balloons, egg race, just hanging out. We put out a sheet with a sweet potato yogurt pie in the middle, stripped Owen down to his diaper, and then let him at it. In my head, I imagined he'd crawl towards it, stick his hands in, rub pie all over his mouth, we'd all laugh and clickclickclick take a million pictures. Well, in fact it went nothing like that. Owen stared at the pie for awhile. Looked at me and whined like what is that? Then we both moved towards it, he touched it with a single cautious finger and then pretty much decided he didn't want any. I offered him some bites and he eventually played with it a little bit (really not), and that was it. Kind of a lot of build up for very little excitement.

However, Owen loved Mattie's trike, loved the wagon ride (thanks again Grandma & Grandpa Luhrs!), loved time with his friends and family. He ate two gigantic pieces of watermelon, lots of cheese, and some pie crust. All in all, I think he had a really great birthday party.

I know this post isn't very witty or funny. I'm exhausted and honestly, I'm just really overwhelmed with gratitude for our family and friends. For Stew and Jenny for helping so much. For Monica and Klaus for their amazing personal gift to Owen & their friendship this past year. For my aunt, uncle and cousin for coming to help and celebrate with us. For Eddie & Steph who, still exhausted from their wedding, came and played with us until late tonight. And, for my Mommers, who absolutely made my day and helped me relax. To all our friends and family who, whether celebrating with us or in spirit, have made this past year the best year of my life - thank you. I am really a very lucky woman.

Love to everyone & good night!!

My baby is One today

I have this strange mixture of exuberance and melancholy today, March 26, 2008 - Owen's birthday. He's one today! He has a word ("kitty"), he shakes his head no when you tell him not to do something (as if confirming), he hugs, kisses, smiles, jibber-jabbers - he is the best most wonderful addition to our lives. Keith and I kept saying to each other on the drive in this morning: our SON is ONE! He's ONE!

At this time last year, let's see...I was in bed, staring at my child, getting visited by friends and family, staring at MY CHILD OH MY GOD I HAVE A KID NOW, scarfing down food, and trying to ignore the fact that at some point in the future, I would need to have a bowel movement and nothing really scared me so much as that. But back to the adorable child: You see, I'm working today and it SUCKS because what I really should be doing is hanging out with Owen at the park, staring at him and saying over and over "You're so CUTE! You're so CUTE!" (because he really really is). [Note: Occasionally those proclamations of cuteness would be interrupted by "No no, we don't eat sand" but it would mostly be about the cuteness.]

Owen's delivery wasn't easy, but only insane women, women with 15 children, or women who had an epidural that actually worked would ever call any delivery "easy". I really started to believe I was in labor around 4pm on Sunday, March 25th. We left for the hospital around 6pm, and Owen was born at 3:28am. Somewhere in between all that I got an IV that bugged the hell out of me, a catheter that made me feel like my bladder was constantly over-full, and an epidural that was only useful in the sense that it did not increase my pain. Owen had the cord around his little (cute) neck twice, so needed to be pulled out with vacuum extraction. This meant that he had a bruise on his head (more on that in a minute) and that I had 4th degree tears and required ~20+ stitches. But who cares about stitches? He was born and he was gorgeous.

When the nurse put him in my arms, I was talking to my sister on the phone and Owen just looked right up at me - he already knew my voice (of course) and we just looked at each other. He may have been thinking "Crap I'm cold" or "Wow it's really bright out here" but I like to think he was also thinking "Man, it's nice to finally meet you Mom." He was so little but felt so substantial at the time, I just could not stop looking at him, he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

The rest of the day is a blur. Snuggles, food, visitors, poop fears, minimal sleep. We brought him home on Wednesday afternoon, and I had a complete meltdown but I still believe that is the only normal outcome of post-partum hormones and a tiny new baby in a crib that looks like it could fit an elephant.

Owen developed severe jaundice and went back into the hospital on March 30, his aunt Erin's birthday. He was released the next day and after that (well, and one other brief hospital stint), life has been nothing but bliss. And I really do mean that.

You see, Owen brings me more joy than I could have possibly every envisioned. I think there are some things that we can't describe, some feelings that we don't have language for. My love for my baby is one of those things, and all you parents know what I'm talking about. So, my exuberance today is the joy of looking back on all the wonderful 366 days of the past year of my son's life, and looking forward to the many many years ahead of us. My melancholy is just the sadness that any parent feels in the passing of time and the realization that time only moves faster from here on out. It's also about not being with him for most of the day today.

So, today I'm just contemplating what Owen has in store for him, what kind of Mommy I want to be. I really hope that my boy has a fantastic day. I'll post pics from the birthday party as soon as I can on Sunday.
Love to all,
Owen's Mommy

Weekend

I simply do not have enough energy to convey the awesomeness of this last weekend. Eddie and Steph's wedding was...amazing. SO FUN. I will try to do it justice when I feel an inkling of wit and energy returning to my fingertips.

But I did want to hop on and tell everyone that my bestest buddy Jenn started a blog and it's really funny. http://thecarlsonzoo.blogspot.com/ Trust me, she just comes through in the words so perfectly.

Off to bed. Smooches to all.

My husband just served me bile

He says it was a Barley Wine, and assures me it is very good beer, but I beg to differ. He says it is a "malty, sweet, rich, dense beer." In my first sip, I imagine it is really bile from some animal, perhaps a pig. The second and third sips provide a little more of what he's talking about, but I have to allow that he will enjoy it more than I would. Into his glass goes my serving. I am sure he fears I will never have a developed beer palate. I fear he is right.

But anyway. Onto the blog.

So, hey, our son can stand! Not often and not for very long, and always with great flourish and showmanship. He makes sure you are looking. He then stands, throws his arms into the air (lest you think he is tricking you and really holding onto something), and then before you can do so, he begins clapping for himself. Really, does it get any cuter than that?

His signing has regressed, but in a really funny way that is totally acceptable. He used to sign ball, milk, more, dog. Now he signs ball, milk, more, dog, shoes, socks, hat, Mama, Daddy. Except now, ball, milk, more, shoes, and socks are one sign - the sign for "more". Hat, Mama, and Daddy are another (a hand patting the side of his head - I'm not sure what this really means. I hope he does not inadvertently offend any deaf individuals ). Only "dog" has a unique (and correct) sign. Dogs clearly deserve the respect of not having to share their sign with another, lesser word.

Owen hung out with Meg, Adam, and Mattie last night while Keith and I had a DATE!!! A DATE!! It was fabulous. Honestly, even though we went to a movie and didn't speak for two hours then went to get Owen and went home, it was the funnest night. In part that is because we were allowed to space out for TWO HOURS. But probably more importantly it is because we saw Juno, the best sweetest cutest film I've seen in a long time.

Eddie and Stephanie's wedding is this weekend and both Keith and I are in the ceremony; Keith as a groomsman, I as the officiant. I am so excited and so hoping I don't melt into a puddle of sentiment when I get up there and see Eddie looking excited, nervous, hopeful. Wish us all luck! More to come next week.

PS. Thanks for the Easter goodies Grandma Luhrs!! XOXO

Obama and Rev Wright

There's been much ado in the press as well as on my parenting boards (in the political forum, of course) about Obama and his association with Rev Wright who has made some pretty strong comments (very few of which I actually patently disagree with, for the record).

Obama delivered a beautiful speech today in response to this drama. I highly recommend reading the transcript at Daily Kos. The link is at the left under my links list.

He really gets it. I was going to post a few of my favorite exerpts, but can't - I would end up posting the entire speech. Please, read it if you can.

Ear infections, thrush, and teething - oh my!

Sorry I've been MIA. I got sick, then Owen got sick, then Keith got sick, then Owen needed new antibiotics, then Owen got thrush from the new antibiotics...and during all of this work has been totally insane & I'm sure my boss is not loving my being gone here and there (but I'd never know it - he's a total angel, and no he doesn't read this blog so that's entirely honest).

But in the meantime I feel like I'm totally out of touch with everyone except my sister who has received frantic phone calls like "What does it mean when he's just...screaming? And he...won't stop?" She is, after all, the expert on all things ear-infection related, so I feel pretty safe that when she says to take him to urgent care - I do, and when she says that the antibiotics will help in a few days - I relax.

We've had a truly wonderful weekend so far, pancakes for breakfast on Saturday, then Gymboree (that place is so fun for Owen), then nap, then lunch, then a playdate with Kai, Monica, and Klaus. Then a fantastic fish dinner cooked by my husband - I ate way more than I should have but it was unbelievable.

Today we've had waffles & bacon for breakfast (ugh, but yum), some fun videotaping Owen and his antics for the grandparents, now Keith is trying to get the boy down for a nap. All-in-all it's been a great morning, even better because our family is starting to recover from this nasty bacterial infection/cold. It's like coming out of a fog (um, or a nasty hangover) and everything seems brighter, calmer, happier, better.

So, I'm sorry we've been so out of touch & would love to hear from everyone. New pics posted on the picasa site (link on the left).

Love to everyone,
Lauren, Keith, & Owen

A feverish week

How do single parents do it? Around 4pm on Tuesday afternoon, I started to feel a bit out of sorts. I had a business trip to Stanford on Wednesday, with a flight that left at 6:45 a.m. Of course, the fact that I had to be up at 4am meant that I woke up every hour to make sure I hadn't overslept. The lack of sleep on top of already feeling sick was brutal. I somehow slogged to the airport, slogged through the presentation (blowing my nose every 10 seconds) and slogged back home. Keith and Owen arrived home shortly after I did, and honestly, I could barely function.

It's easy to forget what it feels like to have a fever. In my case, it was 102.2, but the exact number is irrelevant because any fever sucks. The horrible sensation of freezing, then burning up. The exhaustion, the clamminess, the constant desire to moan, and the new certainty that your bones are actually more flexible than you had originally believed. When you have a baby, you don't really get to be sick, but at least when there are two parents, you can catch a break every now and then. I honestly do not know how single parents do it - I was completely unable to function on Wednesday night.

My dear dear husband "banished" me to bed. This man encouraged me to go to bed at 6:30pm, yes you read that correctly and no I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm also not ashamed to admit that I did some pretty serious damage to a box of Thin Mints as I roused myself out of a deep slumber at 7:45 the same night. Keith merely looked up at me from the computer and asked how I was feeling as I was half-asleep Cookie Monstering in the kitchen. I grunted some reply and shuffled back to bed. At some point in the following hours I think I summoned him to the bedroom. Although I'm not positive, I believe the conversation went something like this:
Keith: Hey cutie, did you call me?
Me: Nfffffff. Dis um yeah.
Keith: What sweetie? What do you need?
Me: Dis is um and there. And um.
Keith: [laughing quietly] I didn't understand you sweetie.
Me: Mmmmm I need um. It's on the.
Keith: Sweetie?
Then I sort of wake up and realize what's going on and we both start cracking up.
Keith: What did you need, cutie?
Me: I think I needed you to do something with my clothes.
Keith: Ok, what did you need me to do with your clothes?
Me: I need a cookie.
Keith: OK, one cookie coming right up. But you also get the thermometer in your mouth, because when you're being delirious, you also get your temperature taken.
And he stuck the thermometer in my mouth and went to get me a cookie.

Now tell me that he isn't the most amazing man on the planet, I dare you.
************************************************************
Unfortunately, now Owen is sick and I can't tell you how awful it is to have a feverish, lethargic baby. It's the most helpless feeling. I know that he will be ok, but it's his first major fever since he went to the hospital when he was 5 weeks old, and honestly that just does not rouse good memories. At. All. So he was pretty limp and ragdollish today, sleepy and needing a lot of snuggles; of course we were more than happy to oblige. Just the look on his face this afternoon - I knew exactly what he was feeling and it was awful.

He seems to be feeling a little better tonight. The thing is, it was really rough for a 33-year old Mom, but I can't imagine how it feels for his 11-month old body. Poor kiddo.

The perfect day?

I had waffles at every meal yesterday.

Also - Owen sign's "cereal" now.