Sunday, June 15, 2008

Biter

Last Monday, the 9th, I went to pick up Owen at daycare and saw that he had an incident report in his cubby; he had bit another kid. When I spoke with his teacher, she emphasized that he's teething and probably uncomfortable, ergo: biting.

The next day she told me the Turtle Rock policy: One bite: note. Two bites: we keep him home for the rest of the day. Three bites: we keep him home for a week. Fourth bite: he's out. As Veena and Keith can easily attest, I was a mess the entire day Tuesday, constantly freaked out that the school was going to call and tell me to come get my little cannibal.

I'll jump over most of the unnecessary drama about this in my head. Mostly I'm just sad that this story has morphed from being a normal teething reaction in a precocious teether (he's working on #'s 13-16) into a possible aggression issue. I'm sorry, but my child is not aggressive. He's FOURTEEN MONTHS OLD, he's getting 4-6 teeth all at once. Those gums need some massaging; can you really blame him for gnawing on the sweet arms of his peers? I'm kidding, of course, but the fact remains that I'm becoming increasingly impatient with his teacher's attitude about it and willingness to change the story as she goes. I'm completely dependent on them to keep him from "biting" - and for the record? He has not tried to bite me ONCE this weekend. Sure, there are plenty of open mouth kisses and raspberries (both of which we are - heartbreaklingly - trying to discourage at the moment), but not one bite. I hope his teachers lighten the hell up and realize that they're probably just making him totally anxious at this point.

Please - send happy no-bite thoughts to my boy this week. I want to put this silliness behind us.

3 comments:

JennC said...

Not to be a nag, but did you talk to the center director yet? Not that you need to be empowered BUT: 1) I am guessing you are paying a $hitload of money to send Owen to their school, 2) he is teething for Chrissake's, and 3)helloooo???? This 4-bites-you're-out policy is RIDICULOUS.
Toddlers are toddlers. They need to do their job.
And hugs to the boy.
Jenn
ps - Can you send me the files of the pics you took the morning you watched the kidlets? I want to put them in the album.

Lauren said...

I actually talk to the director daily and she is a total gem. It does sound like there is a bit of aggression in the mix, but it's probably fueled by his discomfort. Everyone is doing everything that they can at the moment, and I oscillate between feeling que sera sera about it and experiencing noticable increases in my blood pressure about it. The truth is that we just have to keep doing what we're doing and hope that we can redirect him when he gets frustrated and opens his mouth. The sucky thing is that he doesn't do anything like this at home or with friends on the weekend when we're around.

I'll bring you a CD of the pics this weekend if I can possibly remember.

Lauren said...

I don't really mean "the sucky thing is that he doesn't do it with us" what I mean is that we can't do anything ourselves to work on this with him because he's a snuggly kissy angel with us. We're trying to curb the open-mouth smooches on cheeks, arms, etc, and for the most part he doesn't do it anymore. I think one of the problems is that he doesn't get frustrated at home because we can react immediately, whereas at daycare there are 8 other kids who occasionally also want to play with the green spikey ball or the plastic cow. Sometimes Owen just won't get what he wants. I guess it's good to see some of this before he has a sibling, to know what his tendencies are when frustrated...